How can you love someone if you don’t honor and respect them? Think about how you honor and respect your parents. Should you have any less honor and respect for your wife? Honor is even more important in a marriage relationship. You spend every day of your life with this person. It is sometimes easy to forget to show them honor and respect; especially when you see them at their best and at their worst. How does it make you feel when your wife shows you honor and respect? You must return the favor.
Understanding women is one of man’s most difficult life challenges. Men are from Mars and have no idea where women come from. The key to understanding them is to listen. Women love to talk so let your wife talk to you. Let her pour her heart out to you about all of her fears, concerns, insecurities, joys, interests, and everything else she is willing to share. Listen to absorb, not to respond. This will be the first step towards truly understanding her. Learn about what her needs and desires are so you can be a tool in helping her achieve them.
Intimacy strengthens the bond of marriage. Intimacy in not about self-fulfillment, it is about showing love and affection to your wife. When was the last time you offered her a massage with no strings attached? How much do you think your wife will feel loved if you offer to give her an evening massage and allow her to fall asleep completely relaxed without feeling obligated to “return the favor”? Intimacy is about putting her needs and desires ahead of yours. Give without expectation.
You are married. If you have not figured it out yet, it is time to learn that you are a team. You must create a bond together to be as one. When you think of the word “bond” you probably think of words like connection, link, or union but what about the word flexibility? It sounds contradictory but in order to create a bond one must be flexible. It is about give and take and it is about compromise for a common goal. You must build a strong and unbreakable bond with your wife and in order to do this you must be flexible, open, and understanding.
This one is easier said than done. Not being a cheater is more than just not having physical sex with other women. You need to be entirely devoted to your wife. Marriage is a commitment and being faithful takes much greater devotion. Are you viewing pornography? Do you have sexual thoughts or fantasies about other women? Are you spending too much time or flirting with other women? Physically, mentally, or emotionally; these can all be considered forms of cheating. Show your wife that you are devoted to her and her alone 100%. Avoid these potential zones of cheating at all costs.
In the business of everyday life it is easy to forget to put love first. There are many things that can challenge a marriage: jealousy, greed, pride, selfishness, fear, anger, and resentment to name a few. Whenever you have any of these feelings or difficult situations in your marriage always choose love. In many instances this means swallowing your pride. Do it! Swallow your pride and forget about yourself if it means putting love first, making your wife happy, and building a stronger relationship.
It is your responsibility as her husband to make her happy. There is much fulfillment when we make someone we love happy. Devote yourself to making her happy. Tell her she is beautiful, celebrate her accomplishments, let her know how much your appreciate everything she does, and buy her occasional gifts for no reason at all but to show her how much you care. The smile on her face will put a smile on your face.
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